august 14, 2009
1:00 a.m.

dearly beloved,

the more i tried to forget you.....the more i am drawn to love you.....

i have never loved someone as much as i have loved you.  in my youth, you were the world to me.  every page of my life then was teeming with vibrant memories of our love.  how could i forget your tender hug...your melting kiss....your innocent touch?  every fiber of my being melted with yours the moment we were together.  but most of all, i could never forget you -  for loving me unselfishly and unconditionally.  but, that was yesterday.

our world drifted apart not because love deserted us.  in fact, when i decided to let you go, my heart bled to no end.  but, i was young then.  i had my own dreams...my own aspirations in life.  though i would  have been happy to build a home with you, but beloved, i felt then that i would have been a lot happier when left alone to carve my own niche under the sun.  and so i left you and bade goodbye to our love.  but deep inside of me, i was still hoping against hope that the future will bring us back to each other's arms.

but alas, i was wrong!  the future then which is today is apparently unkind to us.  you already belong to someone else's arms.  however,  i still believe you, beloved ,when you told me that the best moments in your life are those  moments spent with me.  i still believe you, beloved, when you told me that no other woman has ever taken my place in your heart.  and i believe you, beloved, when you told me that you are still so much in love with me.  that not even the passage of time could erase memories of me  forever etched in your heart and mind.

no  amount of tears could bring us back to each other's arms again.   no amount of promises could alter our separate lives now.  no amount of love could defy our deeply instilled moral values.  I STILL LOVE YOU BELOVED, this you must know.  but no matter how painful it is for us, i will guide my heart to just love you at a distance.  i will endure the searing pain, the gnawing loneliness without you by my side.

i have come to realize now that the beckoning glitter of a successful career pales in comparison to  my heart's desire to share my life with you.  those accolades and laurels on my head are just but fleeting  sources of happiness, i must now confess.   i should have known before beloved - that only you are my true happiness.

but we both understand that there is no use for us crying over spilled milk.  no more asking for the moon, so to speak.   life has to go on.  it is by acknowledging our mistakes that we learn to become a better person.  i am positive that god has something beautiful in store for my life ahead.  inch by inch, i am going to pick up the broken pieces of my life's jigsaw puzzle though it hurts. 

should i forget you beloved?  my mind says yes but my heart echoes a resounding no!  this time, i should know better.  no, never will i ever forget you.  instead, i will treasure the beautiful memories of our love in the deepest recesses of my heart only you could fathom.

beloved, tomorrow.....i will be grateful as i am today that for once in my life i have met and loved a man like you.  who knows in our life beyond - our promise to each other will find fulfillment to our heart's delight.

for after all, reminiscing the simple pleasures we both shared in our younger years.....like those countless motorbike rides in the rain.... is more than enough to make me smile and wash away the tears in my eyes.

my heart will forever cherish you.....beloved.

with love and prayer,



redmysticrose